NFL Quarterbacks 2016

Let’s have a look at some quarterback conversations……

Mark Sanchez, Broncos: “Mark, I’ve always thought you’ve been misused. Rex Ryan screwed you up by bringing in Tebow in 2012 after you had taken the Jets to the AFC title game in your first two years in New York. You are following a legend in Denver in Peyton, but Elway has a way with quarterbacks. Get your confidence back. You have plenty of great football left in you.”

Tom Brady, Patriots: “You have four games to rest serving out that stupid suspension. Help Jimmy Garoppolo at least break even before you return. I think he could start for a bunch of other teams. Maintain your game at last year’s level and you’ll be playing deep into January as usual. Your 2015 quarterback rating at 98.7 was a tad off.”

Cam Newton, Panthers: “When you left that fumble sitting on the ground against Denver deep in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, you dropped to last on my favorite quarterback list. I don’t know how you make up for that. You have talent galore but that one totally self-serving play will define you forever. Your superb ability surpasses that of all other quarterbacks. Now, play up to it.”

Jameis Winston, Bucs: “You were last in passing completion percentage in 2015 at 58.3%. You passed for over 4,000 yards, but two/thirds of those came in your team’s ten losses, often against soft secondaries protecting big leads. 22 touchdown passes to 15 interceptions (1.5-1) has you near the NFL bottom in that category where the norm is (3-1). Your quarterback ranking was 84.2, Too low. You must improve quickly to give Tampa Bay a chance in the tough NFC South. You are a tough competitor, but that isn’t enough.”

Robert Griffin, Browns: “RG III, you have the potential to rock Cleveland. You will be the anti-Manzeil. No more stupid histrionics off the field as was the case with “Johnny Football.” You will give 110% on every play. Stay as far away from Mike Shanahan as you can, he being the cause of your injury problems at Washington. Your city is primed for more success after LeBron brought them the NBA title, and the Indians sitting comfortably in first place. Go get that Super Bowl ring.”

Marcus Mariota, Titans: “I was duly impressed with your 9/10 passing performance against Carolina last weekend. You look to be over your 2015 injury. Everything seems poised for you to move up in the ranks of NFL quarterbacks this year. You took  too many sacks last year. Far too many. Break the pocket earlier, if you must, to gain running yardage, like you did at Oregon. Work on moving your completion percentage up a couple of points to a Rodgers-like 65%.”

Russell Wilson, Seahawks: “You are on your way to premier numero uno position in the NFL. You have become a deep playoff presence year after year. Your 110.1 quarterback rating is superb, indicative of your all-around excellence. Your 4.5-1 (34-8) touchdown pass to interception ration is magnificent. You are taking too many sacks (45). Talk to your offensive line. Let them know you hold their financial future!”

Celebrity Sighting (102-A) Follow Up: Last Friday, Derek Jeter sighted once again, arriving for the new Jason Bourne flick at our Cineplex, a half hour late. Looking up at the screen and realizing his tardy arrival, he sped out like he was going from first to third on a wild pitch!

4 responses to “NFL Quarterbacks 2016

  1. Robert Chambers

    Hey Coach if you can’t be honest with them what can you tell them! Constructive criticism and praise are the foundation for improving…even for the best.

  2. Now that Tony Romo has a broken bone in his back, The Dallas Cowboys are headed for another dismal season. As we discussed, no NFL team can afford to have their starting QB go down and expect to have a successful season. There are no backups that can take their team to the promised land.